Last Day...

At 3:00 this morning I was wide awake worrying about my students. As a teacher, it is easy to foresee some future struggles of your students. (i.e. insecurities, complacency, attention seeking, even promiscuity) There is a part of me that wants to protect them and set them back on track when they fall off the road. Obviously I can't do that for them. So I pray for them which I have frequently done over the last few months as I've prepared to leave. (If you didn't know, I've resigned from teaching to stay at home with Junior)

Yesterday was that last day for students. I gave them all a little gift and had an ice cream party. They made me promise to email my co-teacher with any life updates and to come back and visit if I had another baby. My co-workers did well at making me cry through cards and flowers. One of my teaching friends made a beautiful tree canvas painting and each of the ESL students put their thumb print on it to look like an apple tree. There was a quote by Maya Angelou on it says,

"At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

         My heart feels conflicted with leaving teaching because I really do love my students. At the same time, I desired to stay at home with River. We struggled initially to secure childcare, which was very tolling on me. While we did find an AWESOME woman to watch River, it was a conflict when he was sick and both parents had mandatory meetings. Between the 30 min drive, cost of childcare, and an emotional mama, we decided it was best for me to stay home. Even so, my heart still mourns the closing of this chapter. To all the student who made my heart full- I will miss you so much more than you know. And to all the amazing staff who became close friends- I will facebook stalk you :)

        If you feel led to pray for my "stay at home mom" adventures, I'd appreciate it! I'm anticipating some road bumps in learning how to stay sane, joyful, adequately socialized, and productive. I realize this will look different, then how my mind currently perceives these things.

A Letter to My FEELINGS

If you believed God is an extravagant giver – would you be more full?

If you believed God WANTED to heal you - would you feel healthier?

If you believed God delighted in you – would you have more joy?

If you believed God wasn’t angry with you - would you be less angry with yourself?

If you believed God doesn’t keep score – would you stop keeping record of how you’ve been wronged?

If you believed God wasn’t constantly disappointed in you – would you be less depressed and critical of yourself?

If you believed God turns around Satan’s plans to bring you good – would you feel lightness in your chest again and peace?

If you believed God saw you as his royal child – would you stop feeling like an orphan?

If you believed that God is always there – would you stop feeling abandoned?

If you believed God understands - would you stop defending yourself?

If you believed God loves Quality time with you- would you put down the ipad and phone?

If you believed God will answer - would you ask for bigger or more things?

If you believed God wanted more than anything to make you whole -would you stop exhausting yourself trying to fix everything?

If you believed that God is always good - would you stop complaining about the small things?... and big things?

If I believed God's character doesn't depend on my circumstances - would I stop relying on my feeling and circumstances to build my theology?

For Every Problem There is a Solution

This has happened to many of us moms. They are not being naughty just exploring and being curious.

If you want to pay money, you could buy this.

If you DON'T want to pay money you can do what I did. Take an old Huggies wipes box and stuff it with whatever you like- toys, washcloths, lost socks. 

The top opening is silicone and safe for a baby to put their hand through.

We usually put widowed socks inside for him to dig out.

Jackpot!

Hiding Veggies

        When River was starting to eat people food, I did a lot of online reading about how to make homemade baby food. The idea appealed to my budget and so I tried it. I read articles about how to steam and cook the food. Then I put it into our blender or you could use a food processor. Mostly everything can be frozen so I would put it in ice cube tray followed by permanent storage in a freezer bag. Unfortunately River's interest in finger foods made him reject the baby food puree. We tried giving him cut up steamed veggies but he apparently did not like the taste. Dinner time became a fight to get him to eat foods other than grains and fruit. The internet told me how to prepare the puree but I couldn't find much advice on where to hide them for toddlers.  Here are some suggestion that have worked for us.

Hide veggies purees or chunks in:

• Applesauce
• Banana Mash
• Oatmeal
• Potatoes/ Hasbrowns
• Sweet Potatoes
• Yogurt
• Marinara Sauce with/out Pasta
• Soup
• Avacados
• Eggs 
• Re fried Beans or Bean Salad
• Rice

I'm sure there are many more ways to hide food but these are what works for us now. Also here is my mom confession = almost every meal I pretend to dip his spoon in my bowl before feeding him so he thinks he is getting what I'm eating. Seems to work...

John 8:1-11

John 8:1-11

^“ But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst  they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. ⁷ And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

What if the story was this:

Accused- Man or woman

Jesus- As Himself

Sin- Homosexuality

Argument- 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

 

Stones- Comments on Social Media as well as negative encounters with Christians. 

 

Jesus Response- Same “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

 

Solution- Same: Encounter with Jesus

 ________________________________________________________________

       When I think about the intensity of this argument between churches and people today it makes me even more sure that logic and reason are not enough to heal the heart. My impatience and anger will champion over my best efforts to be righteous unless I hear and see the Lord. I know all the Bible verses that say those things are wrong yet those emotion/feeling still burst inside me. So for me today I wait and listen for his voice and pray daily for an encounter with him. 

Isaiah 43:4
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life."

 

 

Why I'm Loving You Today Junior

Son, you are sick and have kept me up at night for the last two days but for some reason I just can get enough of you. For example, you rarely let me cuddle you. Only your dad has the power to rock you to sleep. But today you let me hold you while you put your head on my shoulder for a whole twenty minutes as we watched Daniel Tiger. For most of the morning, you wouldn't let me put you down but there were moments when your cleverness made my heart swell up. For example, I loved watching you figure out how to put the Legos together then pull them apart. At the same time, it frustrated me when I peeked around the corner and saw you crawling. We both know, you know, how to do this, yet you refuse to crawl when you're aware I'm watching you. I give you some credit that it is much easier/faster to have mom move you around instead. Today you dug deep amidst your cough and waterfall runny nose to play a game of tag. You clung for dear life on the couch as you tried to run from me. The joy you received from the chase game is all I need to get me through another long night of coughing and cuddles. Your trust amazes me. Whenever I offer you my finger for support, you take it, even though the table and chair you are clinging to are much for secure than my pinky finger. You fall into me without hesitation. No matter how many Kleenexs, wet wipes, and diaper you pull out of place, no matter how much snot you rub all over me today, I'm always loving you. Thank you for all the joy you bring and every Texas size smile you give whenever I walk in the door. I love you junior!

Mom

Proud Stallion

Happy Valentine's Day! This bath walk ALWAYS makes me smile. He is like a proud stallion on his way to the bathtub.