Be Still and Know

Sometimes I struggle to stop and pray and especially be still and listen. So things like this happen to force me into being still- don't be deceived, I'm wide awake!!!

31 Weeks

In case you were wondering what 31 weeks looks like!

That's What She Said

        As I prepare to write this, I already feel the voices saying, 

"That's a far stretch."

"She's a prude."

"Its just a joke."

So before I start a internet battle where we anonymously say vicious things back and forth,  understand my heart in writing this. I want people to think. I want people to decide for themselves what is right or wrong. I want people to be confident in their convictions so that if some disagrees, they don't start flying off the handle. BUT mostly, I want healing for all those affected by sexual abuse, the pornography industry, human trafficking, and even perpetrators of sexual crimes or addictions. 

Growing up in the pastors house, it was rare you would find a crude joke. It was also rare to watch any television or movies with affection beyond a kiss. If we saw these movies, it was probably at a friend's house. That put us at a great disadvantage in participating in crude joking during high school or college. I probably gave a courtesy laugh like a knew what they were referring to. Yes, you could call me "sheltered".

Some people grow up in churches where sex is equivalent to the devil. This was NOT my experience but I was taught that it should be saved for marriage. Although it was not spoken about, my siblings and I had a great relationship with our parents so we knew we could ask anything if we wanted. I don't remember my mom sitting me down to talk about it although she did make me watch ridiculous puberty videos (mom = school nurse). I established my own boundaries for dating and was a virgin before I got married. All my questions were directed at my older sister or older friends before my wedding night. All in all, the whole idea of "test out the car before you drive it" has not negatively effected my marriage or love life.

So now that you know a little history about me, I want to explain my thought process when it comes to sexual jokes, movies, maybe even music. There is not a social circle in my life where I don't hear, "Thats what she said." It bothers me. I see sexual sin as this huge web that connects, especially in our hyper-sexed culture. 

JOKES, MOVIES, MUSIC, MAGAZINES

All get the wheels turning in men or women's heads that these are the norms for sex.

For example:

• Frequency of sex
• Types of sex
• Length of sex
• Physical appearance of the perfect partner
• Number of partners

As these pictures are continually downloaded into women and men's mind (*especially men who are so visual) expectations start to change. When those expectation begin to prove far from reality, addictions begin.  

For example:

• Sexual additions leading to
• Rape
• Cheating
• Human Trafficking Industry
• Addiction to pornography
• Pedophilia

                                                   IT ALL STARTS SOMEWHERE!

There is a song I've heard on the radio that describes the way our culture see men and their sex drive. 

"Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand

But I still need love cause I'm just a man"

"Well, he just a guy, they can't help themselves." If its true that God created men to consume sex in  unattainable amounts with uncontrollable desires, women and children should all go hide. This attitude is what our hyper-sexed culture accepts. Then we are surprised and flabbergasted of news reports of rape, high divorce rates among religious couples, human trafficking and unmentionable crimes to children as young as babies. Just watch Law & Order SVU. I'm haunted that those stories are reality!!

Personally, I'm convicted that the smallest of my decisions, effect these bigger crimes. 

• My crude joking perpetuates the hyper-sex cultured feeding people lies that turn into addictions. 
• My movie choices pay people to promote sexual promiscuity or border lone pornography films. 
• My purchase of music fills the wallets of people who then fill our youth with the idea that sex is everything. 

My contribution to the hyper sex society feeds the sexually addicted then assaults innocent children, women and men. 

There is not a small ounce of me that wants to contribute any more to human trafficking, the pornography industry, sexual crimes against people, etc. These wounds haunt victims for the rest of their lives and sometimes lead to more abuse. Statistics say that many abusers have been abused themselves, many as children.  

So when I don't smile at your jokes or decline a movie invitation- don't be offended. I'm an extremely sensitive person especially when it comes to issues related to children. 

Some of my own habits I'm processing are reading tabloid's online and the radio. Things I don't pay for out of pocket but are still making money through advertisemnt. In conclusion, we are all responsible for our own actions. Let's be intentional instead of following the majority or trends.