Be Still and Know

Sometimes I struggle to stop and pray and especially be still and listen. So things like this happen to force me into being still- don't be deceived, I'm wide awake!!!

31 Weeks

In case you were wondering what 31 weeks looks like!

That's What She Said

        As I prepare to write this, I already feel the voices saying, 

"That's a far stretch."

"She's a prude."

"Its just a joke."

So before I start a internet battle where we anonymously say vicious things back and forth,  understand my heart in writing this. I want people to think. I want people to decide for themselves what is right or wrong. I want people to be confident in their convictions so that if some disagrees, they don't start flying off the handle. BUT mostly, I want healing for all those affected by sexual abuse, the pornography industry, human trafficking, and even perpetrators of sexual crimes or addictions. 

Growing up in the pastors house, it was rare you would find a crude joke. It was also rare to watch any television or movies with affection beyond a kiss. If we saw these movies, it was probably at a friend's house. That put us at a great disadvantage in participating in crude joking during high school or college. I probably gave a courtesy laugh like a knew what they were referring to. Yes, you could call me "sheltered".

Some people grow up in churches where sex is equivalent to the devil. This was NOT my experience but I was taught that it should be saved for marriage. Although it was not spoken about, my siblings and I had a great relationship with our parents so we knew we could ask anything if we wanted. I don't remember my mom sitting me down to talk about it although she did make me watch ridiculous puberty videos (mom = school nurse). I established my own boundaries for dating and was a virgin before I got married. All my questions were directed at my older sister or older friends before my wedding night. All in all, the whole idea of "test out the car before you drive it" has not negatively effected my marriage or love life.

So now that you know a little history about me, I want to explain my thought process when it comes to sexual jokes, movies, maybe even music. There is not a social circle in my life where I don't hear, "Thats what she said." It bothers me. I see sexual sin as this huge web that connects, especially in our hyper-sexed culture. 

JOKES, MOVIES, MUSIC, MAGAZINES

All get the wheels turning in men or women's heads that these are the norms for sex.

For example:

• Frequency of sex
• Types of sex
• Length of sex
• Physical appearance of the perfect partner
• Number of partners

As these pictures are continually downloaded into women and men's mind (*especially men who are so visual) expectations start to change. When those expectation begin to prove far from reality, addictions begin.  

For example:

• Sexual additions leading to
• Rape
• Cheating
• Human Trafficking Industry
• Addiction to pornography
• Pedophilia

                                                   IT ALL STARTS SOMEWHERE!

There is a song I've heard on the radio that describes the way our culture see men and their sex drive. 

"Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand

But I still need love cause I'm just a man"

"Well, he just a guy, they can't help themselves." If its true that God created men to consume sex in  unattainable amounts with uncontrollable desires, women and children should all go hide. This attitude is what our hyper-sexed culture accepts. Then we are surprised and flabbergasted of news reports of rape, high divorce rates among religious couples, human trafficking and unmentionable crimes to children as young as babies. Just watch Law & Order SVU. I'm haunted that those stories are reality!!

Personally, I'm convicted that the smallest of my decisions, effect these bigger crimes. 

• My crude joking perpetuates the hyper-sex cultured feeding people lies that turn into addictions. 
• My movie choices pay people to promote sexual promiscuity or border lone pornography films. 
• My purchase of music fills the wallets of people who then fill our youth with the idea that sex is everything. 

My contribution to the hyper sex society feeds the sexually addicted then assaults innocent children, women and men. 

There is not a small ounce of me that wants to contribute any more to human trafficking, the pornography industry, sexual crimes against people, etc. These wounds haunt victims for the rest of their lives and sometimes lead to more abuse. Statistics say that many abusers have been abused themselves, many as children.  

So when I don't smile at your jokes or decline a movie invitation- don't be offended. I'm an extremely sensitive person especially when it comes to issues related to children. 

Some of my own habits I'm processing are reading tabloid's online and the radio. Things I don't pay for out of pocket but are still making money through advertisemnt. In conclusion, we are all responsible for our own actions. Let's be intentional instead of following the majority or trends. 

My Life in the 1900’s

My Life in the 1900’s 

(Some names have been changed to protect the identity of the characters. Details have been altered to fit the culture of the times.)

I was born, Maggie Helen Linden, the second daughter of Minister Nicholas Linden and his wife Marion. As his title suggest, he was the Minister in our small town of Clayton. He was well respected by everyone in Clayton and loved to tell stories. His weakness was the game of baseball to which he could be seen running bases with the young folk up until his sixties. My mother Marion raised us and spent her free time assisting the town doctor by making house calls. She was ambitious about her work which was rare for women of her time. Many of the women would come to her to find wisdom in times of trouble or hardship.

All three of us children attended school regularly. My older sister Alonza was very academic and excelled playing the clarinet. She grew up and married the sheriff in the town over. They had more kids then they knew what to do with. My younger brother William was the strong silent type. His interest in reading led him to explore the world of film. He was shunned by the townspeople for his involvement in the immoral cinema industry. My parents never mentioned it but I knew deep down they were proud of his accomplishments.  

My childhood was pleasant. I enjoyed school but was frequently in trouble for repaying the boys in my class for pulling my braids. My parents would rebuke me and send me to my room. At the age of sixteen, finding no suitors in my town to settle down, my father agreed that an education would help me mature. I studied to become a teacher and found it to be my true passion. During the last month of schooling, I met a young man named David. He was the son of a farmer and in line to inherit the farm. His love for academics and adventure made him forgo his farm duties and go off to college. He was studying to become a banker.  Our time of getting to know each other was short; but was enough to start a correspondence via mail.

After my exams, a job was secured for me to teach in my home town of Clayton. For the next year, I grew as a teacher while writing every night to my dear David. My father approved of our courtship and a year and a half later we were married. I continued teaching as David began his work at the town bank. We lived in a small apartment above the bank and attended my father’s church every Sunday. Our first son Jethro soon came into the world. He had a vibrant and youthful spirit and much resembled his father.  A little short of two years later we would welcome in a sister for little Jethro. 

Works Based Faith

"Works based faith" - instantly you tell yourself that you are not in this category.  But is that really true...
Do people around you have to EARN things? Does everything have to be equal or fair?


- You only tips a waiter if they do a really good job.

- Conversation between parents, "I already changed a dirty diaper today so it's your turn." 

- Conversation between spouses, "I did the dishes so you have to finish laundry." 

- You justify gossiping about your boss or co-workers because they really are awful!

I'm no saint - I've done all these. But about a year ago my husband extravagantly tipped a waitress with terrible service. I was a little mad. He said it didn't matter that she didn't earn it; maybe she was having a terrible night. I couldn't argue with him. Then a few months later, he surprised me again. We were at a restaurant and he asked the waiter for the check.......and the check of two gentlemen across from us. I was stunned but nodded to the waiter that what my husband said was correct. The manager was very confused and asked if we knew the guys. No, we didn't. Couldn't even judge their character from listening to their conversation. They didn't speak English. 

These stories aren't to glorify my husband (he's probably mad I'm telling this story) but to tell you where my contemplation of true grace started. I really do believe that a business and their service should be held to high standards. Unfortunately this clouded my vision to see hurting people/ opportunities to bless the undeserving. 

My marriage is another place I expect EQUALITY/FAIRNESS!!!!! You Mister, better earn your kiss goodnight...

Let's say I'm still learning this lesson...

We devote time and money to many well-deserving people and organizations as a form of stewardship. In the process, the undeserving miss experiencing the deep levels of God's grace. And unfortunately we give the least grace to those closest to us- family. 

These cats would not have made the cut if it was a "works-based" system for entry to heaven- Zacchaeus, Mary Magdalene, Moses, and YOU.

Be EXTRAVAGENT with grace! It helps to ask God to give you revelation of His extravagant grace over you. 

Wall Size Ruler

Here is a project that really didn't take too long-

You'll need:

80in by 9in piece of wood (height varies depending on the size of your walls)

Spray paint or regular paint 

Painters Tape

Painter Pen

Stencils

Pencil

Measuring Tape

Time

I'm sure there is a specific type of wood and finish that would be best but I don't know what it is. My dad gave me all the boards which equals free. (My kind of crafting.) As you will see in the pictures, some of the wood is more finished then others which makes them look more professional. 

1. Cut your board to size if needed. You could also sand if necessary. 

2. Paint boards to desired color. 

3. With a pencil, mark the inches and foot lines. I lined up my board to a measuring tape to do this. IMPORTANT- You need to start your lines at the height the board  will sit on your wall. For example my board starts at 10 inches off the floor. This will all depend on the height of the walls in your home.

4. Tape a straight line down the side of the board with the length you want to draw the inch lines. 

5. With a painter's pen, draw over the pencil lines to create inch marks. 

6. Follow steps 4 & 5 for the half foot marks and the foot marks.  Each getting a little longer then the previous measurement. (The Ruler on the far right above displays only foot marks.) 

7. After completing the measurement marks and peeling off all the tape, use a stencil to create the numbers with a painter's marker. 

8. OPTIONAL- Spray with  clear sealer. It can add a glossy look. 

Complete:

Proverbs 32 Husband

 Proverbs 32 Husband

Written by Solomon's Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Niece

A husband of integrity who can find,

He is more valuable than many shoes.

His wife respects him and

never fears unfaithfulness.

He brings her flowers not stress

all the birthdays of her life.

He limits his sports games so

that he spends time with his family. 

He is like a businessman,

bringing home the bacon everyday.

He get up when it is still dark

to help feed the babies.

He considers a house and buys it,

fixing it up to double the profits.

He works diligently,

gaining favor at every job.

He manages his money 

so that his family is fed and looking fine. 

In his hands he pushes the lawn mower,

and aims the weed whacker.

He opens his arms to his family,

and pays for the strangers' meal. 

When finances are tight,

He has no fear because the Lord always provides.

He makes steak for dinner

which is clothed in too many spices.

His wife is endeared for her witty humor 

when she takes her seat among guests.

He makes laughter and shares it,

so that no one is down-hearten. 

He is clothed with strength and wisdom.

He chuckles at the days to come.

He speaks with conviction,

and the Spirit permeates all he says.

He watches over his family

and does not have a lazy bone in his body.

His children rise and call him dada,

his wife, she adores him.

Many men do great things,

but you exceed them all.

Six packs are deceptive and tan skin is fleeting,

but a man who fears God is to be honored.

Honor him for all he does 

and let his character be his testimony.

 

 

(Disclaimer- This is written in good humor so don't send me messages about blasphemy or 

Revelation 22:18-19. Also, everything I said it true about my husband and is in NO WAY a sermon to men. This is a tribute to Dave.)

Marrying off River

Lately there have been a lot of post out there about mother-in-laws writing notes to their future daughter-in-laws. The thought of my son marrying or just bringing home a girl really scares me! On the other hand, I will not let him live in this house forever and I want grand kids = I'll need a daughter-in-law. When I think about my son's future wife, the weight of parenting takes on a whole new prospective. Single ladies across America are saying things like this (and married) -

He doesn't hold down a job.

He plays video games all day.

He doesn't spend time with his family. 

He never listens. 

He doesn't take care of his money.

He never helps with the house-work.

Although I realize there is an attack on men and unrealistic expectations for them, I don't want my son to fall into any of these categories. If I let him play video games all day, why would that change when he is 30? If I never make him help with the house work, I'm going to be standing in front of a daughter-in-law who is worn out, depressed, and full of anger. This kind of tension in a marriage will effect my grandchildren.

River recently has had his cousins come over twice a week. There is a huge learning curve in the game of "sharing". As he gets older he going to learn that life is not always fair. No, I'm not going to seek out unfair situations to teach him this lesson but there is no doubt he is going to get in trouble someday just by association. (i.e - His cousin knocked over the lamp but because I didn't see it, they're all in timeout). Basically, the story of my childhood. The consequence of not learning this lesson is constant arguing between spouses- trying to prove that they were the victim of the situation. Honestly, I struggle with this. I play the victim too often and struggle to internalize my husband's hurt. I pray that this area of my life will be made whole so my children don't learn this as a norm for marriage.

All in all, my child and my parenting is covered in grace. I won't do everything perfect especially with the first child. And if River is lost on how to be a husband, he has to look no further than his handsome father. I hope my daughter-in-law will view my son as one of the greatest gift she ever received.

My Mind

               This song I have listened to at least ten times in the last 3 days. I love how it places me right in lap of the Father.  Come to Me By Bethel Music. I've always had trouble sleeping. When I was younger, My dad would come pray over me in the middle of the night to try to get me to calm down and rest. This even happened into high school. Restlessness would overwhelm me. I've lately felt a spiritual attack on my mind. Thoughts of tragedy keep coming up.

               I've always thought to myself, "I've really had no big trauma or trials in my life so how can I have a testimony - Trials or loss must be right around the corner then." Never lost a parent or close relative. Never had any major health problems. Never struggled financially. So then my mind worries for when the ball is going to drop. The problem is that this view characterizes God as a mean Father who likes to punish or use hurt to teach us everything. This is simply not true. I have a really great earthly father and he didn't beat me to try to teach me how to ride my bike or do my homework. I don't think he EVER liked to see me in pain even when he disciplined me.

            Many people have different view of pain and suffering. My personal belief is that there are different types of pain and suffering and they don't all come from God. Satan mission is to kill, steal and destroy so you have to sort through every situation. I believe God works everything for our good so whatever the source of pain, the outcome with God will always be victorious. This whole topic is so complex and I've only touched on a small portion of it. So back to these crazy thoughts.

         The lies I hear about loss, tragedy, or trial fill me with fear. This leads me to believe they are not from God. Heaven's message if something hard were coming would be filled with peace or hope. Satan can use such manipulation like " xyz will happen but you'll be able to use it as a testimony". The christian buzzword = testimony. While I believe all things CAN be a testimony, I don't think God needs more death or pain to prove a point to his children who are right with him. He is more wise and powerful then that.

         My plan to fight off this manipulation is through filling my mind with truth about God character through songs or scripture. That why I love that song. It reminds me of the Love of God. I also quote Psalm 23 a lot.

 

Come to Me- Bethel
I am the Lord your God, I go before you now
I stand beside you, I’m all around you
Though you feel I’m far away, I’m closer than your breath
I am with you, more than you know

I am the Lord your peace, no evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind, come into My rest
Oh, let your faith arise, lift up your weary head
I am with you wherever you go

Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m everything
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m your everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you, I’m your faithful strength
I am with you wherever you go

Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m your everything
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m your everything

Here are some questions I go through when testing thoughts:

1. Is it consistent with scripture?
2. Is it consistent with God's character?
3. Does it create fear or faith?

Also I'm extremely susceptible to things I see on TV which I believe most people don't acknowledge as a possible enemy to your thoughts.

Philippians 4:8
 ^"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
  
 I don't pretend to know all about trials, loss or tragedy but I know that I want my mind full of hope and faith. Faith ushers in great victories- David, Deborah, Moses, Esther, etc. We are more than conquerors!

Stay at Home Mom Hobbies

Wall Signs- spray painted them hodge podged paper letters on. 

Wreaths - wrapped with fabric them hot glued on bows.

Diaper Bouquet - Used little ponies to secure diaper, put on a skewer and shoved it in foam hidden in vase. Tinsil makes it look more pretty! 

Diaper Cake - Used a circle pan and placed rolled diaper inside. Then put a large rubber band around each level. Covered rubber and with bows. Used skewers to hold the levels together. YouTube also helped. 

I've also been sewing but that's not as pretty as these things. Anyway my son has taken out all the pans in the kitchen while I've been crafting so now I need to go clean :) 

Last Day...

At 3:00 this morning I was wide awake worrying about my students. As a teacher, it is easy to foresee some future struggles of your students. (i.e. insecurities, complacency, attention seeking, even promiscuity) There is a part of me that wants to protect them and set them back on track when they fall off the road. Obviously I can't do that for them. So I pray for them which I have frequently done over the last few months as I've prepared to leave. (If you didn't know, I've resigned from teaching to stay at home with Junior)

Yesterday was that last day for students. I gave them all a little gift and had an ice cream party. They made me promise to email my co-teacher with any life updates and to come back and visit if I had another baby. My co-workers did well at making me cry through cards and flowers. One of my teaching friends made a beautiful tree canvas painting and each of the ESL students put their thumb print on it to look like an apple tree. There was a quote by Maya Angelou on it says,

"At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

         My heart feels conflicted with leaving teaching because I really do love my students. At the same time, I desired to stay at home with River. We struggled initially to secure childcare, which was very tolling on me. While we did find an AWESOME woman to watch River, it was a conflict when he was sick and both parents had mandatory meetings. Between the 30 min drive, cost of childcare, and an emotional mama, we decided it was best for me to stay home. Even so, my heart still mourns the closing of this chapter. To all the student who made my heart full- I will miss you so much more than you know. And to all the amazing staff who became close friends- I will facebook stalk you :)

        If you feel led to pray for my "stay at home mom" adventures, I'd appreciate it! I'm anticipating some road bumps in learning how to stay sane, joyful, adequately socialized, and productive. I realize this will look different, then how my mind currently perceives these things.

A Letter to My FEELINGS

If you believed God is an extravagant giver – would you be more full?

If you believed God WANTED to heal you - would you feel healthier?

If you believed God delighted in you – would you have more joy?

If you believed God wasn’t angry with you - would you be less angry with yourself?

If you believed God doesn’t keep score – would you stop keeping record of how you’ve been wronged?

If you believed God wasn’t constantly disappointed in you – would you be less depressed and critical of yourself?

If you believed God turns around Satan’s plans to bring you good – would you feel lightness in your chest again and peace?

If you believed God saw you as his royal child – would you stop feeling like an orphan?

If you believed that God is always there – would you stop feeling abandoned?

If you believed God understands - would you stop defending yourself?

If you believed God loves Quality time with you- would you put down the ipad and phone?

If you believed God will answer - would you ask for bigger or more things?

If you believed God wanted more than anything to make you whole -would you stop exhausting yourself trying to fix everything?

If you believed that God is always good - would you stop complaining about the small things?... and big things?

If I believed God's character doesn't depend on my circumstances - would I stop relying on my feeling and circumstances to build my theology?

For Every Problem There is a Solution

This has happened to many of us moms. They are not being naughty just exploring and being curious.

If you want to pay money, you could buy this.

If you DON'T want to pay money you can do what I did. Take an old Huggies wipes box and stuff it with whatever you like- toys, washcloths, lost socks. 

The top opening is silicone and safe for a baby to put their hand through.

We usually put widowed socks inside for him to dig out.

Jackpot!

Hiding Veggies

        When River was starting to eat people food, I did a lot of online reading about how to make homemade baby food. The idea appealed to my budget and so I tried it. I read articles about how to steam and cook the food. Then I put it into our blender or you could use a food processor. Mostly everything can be frozen so I would put it in ice cube tray followed by permanent storage in a freezer bag. Unfortunately River's interest in finger foods made him reject the baby food puree. We tried giving him cut up steamed veggies but he apparently did not like the taste. Dinner time became a fight to get him to eat foods other than grains and fruit. The internet told me how to prepare the puree but I couldn't find much advice on where to hide them for toddlers.  Here are some suggestion that have worked for us.

Hide veggies purees or chunks in:

• Applesauce
• Banana Mash
• Oatmeal
• Potatoes/ Hasbrowns
• Sweet Potatoes
• Yogurt
• Marinara Sauce with/out Pasta
• Soup
• Avacados
• Eggs 
• Re fried Beans or Bean Salad
• Rice

I'm sure there are many more ways to hide food but these are what works for us now. Also here is my mom confession = almost every meal I pretend to dip his spoon in my bowl before feeding him so he thinks he is getting what I'm eating. Seems to work...

John 8:1-11

John 8:1-11

^“ But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst  they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. ⁷ And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

What if the story was this:

Accused- Man or woman

Jesus- As Himself

Sin- Homosexuality

Argument- 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

 

Stones- Comments on Social Media as well as negative encounters with Christians. 

 

Jesus Response- Same “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

 

Solution- Same: Encounter with Jesus

 ________________________________________________________________

       When I think about the intensity of this argument between churches and people today it makes me even more sure that logic and reason are not enough to heal the heart. My impatience and anger will champion over my best efforts to be righteous unless I hear and see the Lord. I know all the Bible verses that say those things are wrong yet those emotion/feeling still burst inside me. So for me today I wait and listen for his voice and pray daily for an encounter with him. 

Isaiah 43:4
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life."

 

 

Why I'm Loving You Today Junior

Son, you are sick and have kept me up at night for the last two days but for some reason I just can get enough of you. For example, you rarely let me cuddle you. Only your dad has the power to rock you to sleep. But today you let me hold you while you put your head on my shoulder for a whole twenty minutes as we watched Daniel Tiger. For most of the morning, you wouldn't let me put you down but there were moments when your cleverness made my heart swell up. For example, I loved watching you figure out how to put the Legos together then pull them apart. At the same time, it frustrated me when I peeked around the corner and saw you crawling. We both know, you know, how to do this, yet you refuse to crawl when you're aware I'm watching you. I give you some credit that it is much easier/faster to have mom move you around instead. Today you dug deep amidst your cough and waterfall runny nose to play a game of tag. You clung for dear life on the couch as you tried to run from me. The joy you received from the chase game is all I need to get me through another long night of coughing and cuddles. Your trust amazes me. Whenever I offer you my finger for support, you take it, even though the table and chair you are clinging to are much for secure than my pinky finger. You fall into me without hesitation. No matter how many Kleenexs, wet wipes, and diaper you pull out of place, no matter how much snot you rub all over me today, I'm always loving you. Thank you for all the joy you bring and every Texas size smile you give whenever I walk in the door. I love you junior!

Mom

Proud Stallion

Happy Valentine's Day! This bath walk ALWAYS makes me smile. He is like a proud stallion on his way to the bathtub.

Oh How He Loves...

A few year back my mom led me through a program to find my spiritual gifts. Although I cannot remember my statement word for word, the gist was encouraging broken women (spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc). I seen this played out in my life in moment where I have great conversations with women who are beat up with guilt, shame, doubt, and generally overwhelmed with the emotions of life. I'm passionate about this because I've walked through emotional and spiritual battles often. I can remember the days when guilt and shame were the only motivation to read my Bible or go to church. I feared losing relationships because I knew I couldn't live up to others standards and knew my emotions were too burdensome for anyone to carry as a friend. My identity was caught up in what I did instead of who God was to me.

Part of my healing process came in reshaping how God sees me. Most of my life I believed he was disappointed in me. I accepted the gift of the cross as a loan that I need to repay instead of a fully paid debt. You can imagine the difference between a God who gives you a loan verses a God who pays off your debt. The God who paid off my debt in full without interest or payback must have really loved me, liked me, saw potential in me, saw delight in what a relationship with me could be, and had enough riches in his Kingdom to take a risk by paying off my debt. Therefore I can stop the silliness of trying to pay him back with mindless skimming of "a chapter a day" and "10 minutes of prayer" because he didn't want my sacrifice. (Isaiah 1:13-) God had my mind with its knowledge of him but rarely my heart. If I was to love the Lord my God with all my heart, I had to know him and what he thought about me. So I began to listen. What I found was that he spoke my language, sometimes the language of sarcasm. He was perfectly pleased that my gifting were simply being a friend. He didn't require of me study Hebrew and do cold turkey evangelism 24/7. He easily forgave me on the days when I was impatient and distracted. The problems of yesterday were never held against me the next morning. The rat race of trying to be perfect was over.

Even now as I write this my mind tells me I need a disclaimer about "grace abusers"- that its a good thing to read your Bible and pray. I know I know. But if you don't know the Father and his grace then pure self-discipline is not going to carry you through life satisfied and whole.  I spent too much of my time comparing myself to other Christian women resulting in constant disappointment. So I encourage you, stop doing and ask the Lord "Who are you?" and "what do you think of me?" The growth starts from there.

Junior

                                                              9 Months Old

Eating- River is beginning to become a picky eater. He prefers pasta, cookies, bread, bananas, and sweet potatoes.
Sleep- The doctor says it can only get better. NOT TRUE. Due to teething we have been up many times at night.
Interest- Tupperware, plastic cups, bath time, books, phones, paper, and strings
Words- says Mama, baba (books), and understand the word "Mooches"
Mobility- loves to stand and walk with assistance
Personality- Loves being around people
Behaviors: Showing signs of being a "Momma's boy", high pitch screams, and throws head back in frustration.