Fear

Let's all just be honest with ourselves.---> Most of us are NOT living in the Resurrection Power of Jesus. 1 Corinthians 4:20 "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power."We (including myself) are living in fear of about everything and we have crippled:

1. Our faith and our supernatural destiny
2. The testimony and power of the church

A few recent examples

• We fear ISIS and Syrian Refugees
• Have you prayed for them or asked God what his perfect solution is? I KNOW he has one.

Jeremiah 32:27(ESV) “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?

• We fear Starbucks taking away our Christmas!!!!!!
• Puh-lease- No red cup can steal my faith or Christmas.

• We fear people might associate us with the Olsteens, Mark Driscoll, and Benny Hinn so we post shaming and unforgiving articles about them. We have become the Pharisee Police and take every opportunity to rebuke any and everyone. (Gal. 6:1) Mark Driscoll's children should not have to deal with death threats, rust nails and rocks being thrown at them... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZVtuOIrrDg) 04:00- 05:30

John 13:35(ESV) "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

•  We fear EVERYTHING about our children! (Guilty) I had a friend who lives in the middle east once tell me that she had to give her children over to God including all fears about any kind of abuse, sickness or safety. Let me tell you that I'm not there. The mommy wars are all based on fear- you know what I'm talking about. Defensiveness is also fear. (Guilty)
• Matthew 6:25-34
• In the short time I've been a parent, I've realized that the greatest gift I can give my children is to teach them to hear the voice of the Lord. My fleshly self cannot provide all the solutions but if God can give them strategy and healing for any problem they face- I know they will be ok. Knowing about God or the Bible are not enough. 

This is the short list of fears we have. John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, perfect love cast out fear." We love control and knowing whats going to happen next = fear. If we truly live in the power of the resurrection, we would know that the power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. (Romans 8) My mind just shrugged this off for so many years until I began to renew my mind and surrounded myself in a culture of people who believed God was stronger than the world. 

2 Timothy 1:7(NKJV) "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

www.magdalarising.com

Raya's Birth

At our 40 week appointment, I was extremely disappointed to hear I was only 1 centimeter dilated. With River, I never felt Braxton Hick contractions. Since I had felt many during this pregnancy, I assumed I'd be dilated much further. My loving husband consoled me by taking me out to lunch. The plan going forward was to be induced once I reached 41 weeks just like we did with River. The midwives told me that some women have longer gestation periods and that there wasn't anything to worry about. My prayer going forward was to go into labor naturally. 

Five days later, that prayer was answered. My first contraction came at 1:40 am. I was alerted due to the fact that the contraction was also felt in my back. They were not painful but caught my attention enough to get up and move. I immediately began to time them and was surprised that they were already four to five minutes apart. From what I had heard from other women, I thought contractions would start 10-15 minutes apart. I moved around the kitchen and rocked on the exercise ball. About an hour in, Dave came out to see what was going on. Drowsily he realized that things were about to get real. I called the Midwife and she told me to come to the hospital. 

Dave began to pack up the car and I held my first baby in my arms for the last time as an only child. I teared up as I told River I was going to get him a sister and that I'd see him in the morning. We dropped him off at Nana and Papa's at 3:45am. My dad was very sentimental and came out to the car to tell me he loved me then stood in the freezing garage to say goodbye. Sorry dad, but I chuckled as we drove away at your emotional moment. 

Dave informed me half way to the hospital that he wasn't feeling well. I scolded him for not taking any medicine and made him stop at a gas station to get meds. There was no way I was chancing having a husband throwing up during labor. I also scarfed down a cereal bar knowing full well the hospital would not let me eat anything once I arrived. 

As we walked in, I was greeted by a familiar receptionist. Since I work at the hospital giving maternity tours, many of the staff recognized me. We were taken to triage and waited for our nurse assignment. Contractions had slowed down at the hospital so I was initially nervous I'd be sent home. I was so happy to hear I was dilated to a five and would be staying to have a baby. 

Our first nurse was super friendly and talked with us until 7:00 when shifts change. By my choice, I stayed in bed the whole time because I was comfortable. Contractions were surprisingly bearable and nausea was nothing compared to my labor with River. Our labor and delivery nurses were excellent. I actually knew one of the ladies from working there and felt very comfortable with her. She went out of her way to serve me during the whole ordeal. 

My biggest mental wrestling match was the decision to get an epidural. Throughout my pregnancy, I had debated this topic on numerous occasions. It was a mental battle as well as a spiritual one. I strongly believe a woman's body was created to birth naturally and I also believe that my faith could help me achieve an intervention free labor. River's labor and delivery was extremely painful and did not allow me to enjoy or "be present" in the first few hours of his life. My biggest disappointment was that I couldnt/didn't emotionally celebrate River's birth. I wanted things to be different this time. So even though the contraction were very bearable, I got an epidural so I could be emotionally and mentally present for my daughter's birth.

There was a small window of time that pitocin was used. It was then I realized that pitcoin was the enemy through my first birth. Nausea crept in and my sister began to put peppermint oil on my forehead. It was only bad for a half hour and I really believed the peppermint oil helped. 

The midwife on call that day was one of my favorites. She carried positivity into the room as well as peace. Her calm gave me assurance that everything was going to go well. I think I told her I loved her after she delivered the baby. 

There were a few potential scares during the morning. Baby girl was constantly moving therefore making it hard to find her heartbeat. At one point, it took the nurses about 15 minutes to find her heartbeat and they were just about to call in the midwife. Although I wasn't scared, I had a moment when I thought I would be headed for a c-section. Luckily, they found her in some weird position. Next, the midwife thought that baby's hand might be in the way of delivery and had to call in an OB to double check.The OB was so friendly/funny and I even said to my sister, "I really like him!." Who knew I could love a male OB. (**Only ever had female doctors) And there was no hand in the way of delivery. 

About 9:30 am I was at 10cm and the midwife had me trial push. Quickly she realized I was ready and called in the whole medical crew. I was so peaceful and joyful the whole time. I think Dave was grateful for this because it made his job easier since he was going on little sleep. I recognized some of the staff and everyone was talking to me. About ten minutes later, the midwife began to talk me through pushing. I could feel the urge to push minus the pain and was actually telling them when the contractions were coming. On the second push, the midwife said she had a lot of hair. My sister thought it was a lie to get me to push but after the next push, Dave and Angela realized she was not kidding. With a full head of brown hair baby girl was laid on my chest after three pushes. I teared up with joy because everything had been so joyful and peaceful. I could not have imagined a better experience and still look back in awe. My goal was to cherish and celebrate the time with daughter in the first few hours of her life and this dream came true. I don't have any regrets and am so grateful that I could be in the moment for Raya's birth. 

Last Days of Pregnancy

Here a few ways you know you're in the very last stretch of pregnancy, like days-

1. You purposely hop or jump as you leave the bathroom hoping your water breaks.

2. Any sign of abdominal pains makes you freeze with excitement.

3. Your mind tells you the baby is coming in the next few hours because the laundry and dishes are done.

4. You spend endless time bouncing on the exercise ball.

5. You repack your hospital bag twice a day.

6. You take a nap at 6pm because you think the baby might come in the night.

7. Daily you google "when to go to the hospital."

8. Getting dressed in the morning makes you angry because you only have four shirts that fit.

9. You've tried raspberry tea, cleaning the floor, acupuncture, sex, walking, essential oils, yoga, and massages to induce labor.

10. You rehearse the role of a "big brother" with your toddler every chance you get.

Someone told me this the other day and I wish I would have had this mindset earlier. Tell yourself that pregnancy last 42 weeks. That way you're not a crazy person like me, the weeks leading up to your due date!